


Settling Heleus

by Razikale



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Razikale/pseuds/Razikale
Summary: With the Archon defeated and Meridian pulsing life into all of Heleus, there is finally time for the Tempest crew to take a breath. Unfortunately, Ryder discovers that down time also means an opportunity for people to start bringing up the really awkward questions.





	1. Boosting the Batter

**Author's Note:**

> Bioware owns all of Mass Effect.

There are a lot of unwritten rules for running an interstellar bar successfully. Never confuse your dextro-amino base liquors with the standard stock. Don’t serve ryncol to a volus. Always have at least one hot asari bartender. Do not— _under any circumstances_ —twitch if a krogan asks for an umbrella in their drink.

Now, here in Heleus, new laws were being discovered. The first of which seemed to be: don’t serve the angara anything stronger than lemon seltzer. Ryder watched in amusement as the Vortex’s asari bartender (hot, as prescribed) tried to break up a fight between two angaran soldiers and save Dutch from being hit on by the third. They were a demonstratively emotional people, and clearly unprepared for the rapid absorption rate of Milky Way liquor. Bad formula.

“I think that’s the third time this week that Anan has had to protect Dutch’s honor.” A friendly voice arrived near Ryder. She looked up and suffered a momentary paralysis of confusion. It wasn’t so hard to recognize Gil’s friend Jill; it was the problem of trying to compute that she was standing here in the club, eyeing the empty chair at Ryder’s table with a subtle tilt of one eyebrow.

“Well, he is the one that keeps making drinks for them.” Ryder gave a nod, inviting her to sit. “Gotta love his dedication to the job.”  She turned her eyes back to the bar just in time to see Anan cast a barrier around her boss (Partner? Slave? No one had figured out that relationship yet) to shield him from what had almost been a very messy hug.

“It’s the chemistry challenge. Once he figures out how to make a drink that doesn’t reduce their entire species to base homicidal and sexual impulses, he’ll move onto the next cocktail. Took traveling 2.5 million light-years but he found his calling.” Jill dropped into the offered seat with a smile.

“Speaking of calling, Gil is a bit annoyed that you aren’t returning his messages as quickly as he’d like.” She had to take a sip of her drink to keep from giving away any more than that.

‘Annoyed’ was such a heinous understatement that it should face criminal charges. For the past three weeks every time she went to talk to her chief engineer she’d find him muttering angrily beneath the nomad, or pacing his office and checking his omnitool every fifth step, or—as on one memorable occasion—maniacally rewiring his computer console because he was convinced Kallo had hacked it to block communications.

“I’ll just bet,” Jill made an irritated sound in the back of her throat, eyes glinting dangerously but shards of affection still warm underneath. “Eighteen messages. Eighteen. In one day! Maybe he’s got a cushy job with you on the Tempest and time to sit around with his thumb up his ass worrying about things like chromosomal deletion syndromes and vestigial tails, but I still have work to do.”

“Tails? Really?” Ryder could feel a tickle of laughter in her throat.

“A handful of documented cases since the 19th century. I don’t even know how he found them,” Jill sighed, raising one hand in signal to the bar. Anan, who’d finally disentangled herself and Dutch from all the angaran effusiveness, signaled back. “I’ve barely gotten away from him since you docked. Had to distract him with a medical log full of horrific birthing crises just so I could slip out.”

“You do realize that’s only going to be worse for you in the long run, right?” The Pathfinder’s eyes darted to the other woman’s stomach. There was no way she’d be showing yet. It had only been six weeks. Shit, six weeks? Meridian, and the Archon, and all the hell they’d dragged themselves through that she couldn’t believe they’d survived, and now it had been six weeks without terror and panic breathing down their necks? It was . . . surreal.

“Yeah, but that’s going to suck no matter what. Besides, I’ll be so comfortably drugged that he could come into the delivery suite in ass-less chaps with a  karaoke choir and I wouldn’t care.” Jill dismissed the entire issue with a simple shrug. Also a nod and smile to the asari bartender who’d just put a glass down beside her.

“Is that safe?” Ryder’s mouth operated entirely without her permission, as usual.

“Analgesics have been a standard part of the birthing process for centuries, Pathfinder. We’ve perfected the blend and dosage. Trust me; there’ll be no threat to me or the baby. The father, on the other hand, will have to deal with all kinds of consequences after I sober up and watch the birth tape.” Jill took a sip of her drink and Ryder felt a thread of panic race down her spine.

“No, the drink,” she barely restrained herself from reaching across and grabbing the cocktail. She’d wager half her salary (if she was paid) that the liquid sloshing so enticingly in that glass wasn’t water. “Is _that_ safe?”

“Oh, for the love of—,” Jill huffed irritably. “We perfected filtering toxins out of the fetal bloodstream over a century ago! Seven centuries, technically. I could drink a fifth of ryncol and chase it with red sand and the only peril to the baby would be me dying before giving birth.”

“Yeah, but that’s not ryncol and this is Vortex!” Ryder wasn’t a newcomer to alcohol or its perils. She’d drank at every pub, tavern, club, winery and hellhole she could find in the Milky Way. She’d frequented the circle of hell that passed for a bar on Omega, for fuck’s sake! And Dutch’s concoctions _still_ knocked her on her ass when she wasn’t careful. She was pretty damn sure that pregnancy wasn’t a variable the chemist was factoring into his formulae.

“It’s ok, Sara,” the reassurance came, rather unexpectedly, from behind her elbow. Ryder looked over her shoulder and found Gil standing behind them, his arms folded and an affectionate patience curling his smirk. “My Jill has good taste. Nothing but pure grain, always neat. Not much that Dutchie can screw around with, is there?”

“Oh.” Ryder felt the adrenaline ebb out of her system, leaving her slightly drained. “Good.”

“You finished those vids fast.” Jill eyed her baby daddy suspiciously.

“I didn’t watch them,” Gil shrugged, dragging a chair from another table over and straddling it backwards. “Did you really think I would? Four hours of female anatomy larger than life and clearly not in its best moments? Didn’t think that one through, girl.”

“So you waited five minutes and followed me?” Jill challenged playfully. There was a sense that she was toying with her jailer, testing the length of the chains as it were.

“Of course not! I trust you. I know you’d never do anything to put the baby at risk and besides, it took twelve just to style my hair,” Gil teased right back, snagging the glass from his friend’s hand and taking a long swig. Then coughing horrifically because Ryder had never seen him drink anything stronger than organic ale.

There was an ease to the affection between them that made the entire situation all the more unreal. They bantered like lovers, bickered like siblings, and were embarking on a mission of eighteen years or more to co-parent offspring. _They’ll make a great family._   Ryder took a sip from her own drink, a sudden tugging emotion in her chest far too melancholy for such a night.

The Tempest crew was a family. Her family. Which probably meant Jill was the first in-law. Sara’s eyes swept over the woman. She was going to have to get used to a shit load of craziness. Smart ass krogan, incessant nagging about health, black market smuggling, a navigator that licked things when she was distracted, lectures and nagging about safety, obscure movie references, pyjak piss, naked alien butts and—yeah— _more_ nagging. And all of that was before introducing Peebee into the equation.

  _Jesus H. I’ll have to lock her in the escape pod when Jill visits!_  Ryder barely managed to hold back a shiver of sudden panic. Space stations, shuttlecraft in the Scourge, high radiation planets and even the perils of Dutch’s drinks were one thing, but there was no way in hell a pregnant woman could be safe around that spastic ball of blue energy. She’d probably end up trying to program Poc into a midwife just for fun. Auntie Pathfinder sure as shit wasn’t letting that happen.

“Ryder, you’re staring at Jill’s stomach like you’re trying to develop x-ray vision.” Gil’s hand waved in front of her eyes. She blinked, startled from the spiraling thought process of how to baby-proof the Tempest and Peebee-proof the baby. The Chief Engineer chuckled and gave her shoulder a playful nudge. “If you’re trying to picture her naked you might as well give up now. She’s only interested in people she can get babies out of. Just look what happened to me.”

“I’m not – I wasn’t -!” Ryder started to object, redness prickling up her neck as she realized she had indeed been staring at the woman like she could see the future in her uterus.

“Gil, shuttup,” Jill rolled her eyes and lovingly slapped her best friend up the back of the head. Hard. Her gaze slid back across the table with a look that could only be described as calculating. “Besides, Ryder is the Pathfinder. That opens up opportunities ordinary people wouldn’t have.”

“Most of them involving fascinating new ways to die,” Sara instantly dove behind the cover of an ironic smirk as she tried to process the rapid shift in conversation. Was she flirting? Ryder usually knew when someone was hitting on her, but the keen brightness in Jill’s gaze was proving hard to read. It could very easily be either a date or a dissection running through the other woman’s mind.  

“’Opportunities,’ is that what we’re calling ladies’ knickers now? Because I’m pretty sure our intrepid leader has found many a path in that direction. Didn’t I write you after that night in Kadara-,” Brodie snickered, clearly enjoying the sight of his boss writhing in awkward confusion.

“Gil, _shuttup_ ,” Ryder groaned.

“Hasn’t paid for a drink at Kessla’s since. That’s all I’ll say.” The engineer held up his hands in innocent defense. Ryder contemplated reaching across and slapping him in the head the same way Jill had. Actually, what she was really thinking about was a straight-up sucker punch but she’d already hit her quota this month for lectures from Lexi.

“I can believe that,” Jill’s soft chuckle wasn’t mocking her. She sounded . . . pleased? The CRC agent leaned forward with the same smile that Gil always had when he had a good hand. There was a definite purr in her voice as she continued, “Maybe it’s time we went back to that question.”

Ryder had the distinct feeling she was being toyed with. The way Gil was just watching, fascinated and amused like Liam with a vintage vid. That predatory glint in Jill’s excited expression. It added up to cat and mouse and a distinct lack of cheese.

“Question?” Ryder decided to take the bait. You never win the games you don’t play, after all.

 “Reversing your chemical procreation blockers,” Jill replied without batting an eye.

Well, fuck. Sara quickly masked her surprise with a long sip from her drink. She needed to burn away the spasm of horror choking her throat.

“You know, if you weren’t already incubating my next Chief Engineer I’d swear you’re propositioning me.” Ryder skillfully demurred once she had her tongue back under control. She tossed a quick wink to Gil, noting the huge and dopey grin that spread across his face at mention of his progeny.

“At the CRC we’re always thinking about the future,” Jill countered. “But for now I just want to know: what _do_ you think about children?”

“Taste like chicken?” Ryder shrugged, then laughed at the annoyance that scrunched the other woman’s face. “I don’t know; I’ve never been around any. Not a lot of babies popping up at Prothean dig sites. Weird, right?” She took another sip of her drink, suddenly pensive and aware that she was dangerously close to revealing an actual emotion. Aw, hell. “Yours will probably be the first one I hold. Assuming I get to.”

Ryder swore she could _feel_ the air getting clingy and significant as the words left her mouth. It made her skin feel too tight. Why did she have to go and get all sincere? Before she could snatch back the confession or lighten it with a joke, an arm was flung around her shoulders and she was being rather painfully squeezed in the universal bro-hug of guys everywhere.

“You’ll be a pro in no time,” Gil assured her, a warmth in his tone that almost completely erased any traces of the usual playfulness. Fortunately, that only lasted for a moment before he continued, “Just wait; we’ll have you holding the baby, doing nappy changes, taking them for rides in the Nomad to go to sleep, babysitting on weekends. The whole deal.”

“You leave your kid with me for a whole weekend and I swear I’ll teach it to put sand in every gear box you own.” Ryder gave a hard poke to Gil’s ribs, effectively breaking the hug with his laughter. She turned her attention back to Jill, who’d been watching the exchange with bemused approval. At least now Ryder knew the game they were playing. She rested her elbows on the table, leaning forward to study the mother-to-be before giving a melodramatic sigh, “This really isn’t about you wanting my baby in the fun way, is it? You just want to know that I’ll have one.”

“You need to think about your legacy, Ryder. That includes preserving your family’s bloodline.” Jill shrugged, utterly unapologetic for all the teasing misdirection or her ruthlessly pragmatic end goal.

“Pretty sure Scott’s on that. I mean, Cora may not be on the same page yet but he just has to convince her that she’s already in love with him. Shouldn’t be too long.” Sara smiled as she thought of her second-in-command’s rather awkward attempts at resisting the inevitable. Seriously, her brother hadn’t let up on the charm from the moment he woke up and all the heroics on Meridian had all but sealed the deal. Also, Sara might have hinted that roses would go a long way in getting the militant blonde to soften up. Poor woman didn’t stand a chance.

“Scott’s not you, Sara. I don’t know if you’ve heard but you’re kind of a big deal.” Jill shook her head. “The human Pathfinder that found the arks, restored the golden worlds and drove out the kett? Even Addison is riding our asses about getting your genes preserved and she doesn’t particularly care if it’s in a baby or a cryo-tube.”

“Please remind me to stay away from ops for a while,” Ryder shuddered.

“Even if you didn’t want to have kids yourself, do you have any idea how many women would eagerly be surrogate? I wasn’t kidding about the opportunities, Ryder. We could probably populate a whole planet with you.” Jill was positively breathless at the thought. Sex and reproduction typically went hand-in-hand, but population projections really shouldn’t get anyone that excited.

“Better make it two, girl,” Gil corrected with a chortle. “This one’s practically catnip for the asari. I’m surprised we don’t already have a gaggle of blue babies being dropped on the Tempest door step.” 

“The asari have their own CRC, our job is humanity.” Jill dismissed the idea with a slight wave of one hand.

“Then you’re going to be a bit hard up for baby Pathfinders. Our fearless leader here has a bit of a fetish.” There was a cackle beneath Gil’s words, a knowingly salacious sound.

“I do not!” Ryder cursed the traitorous blush creeping up her face. She decided right then that she’d be putting a handful of Pyjak treats in the smart-ass engineer’s bed.

“Oh, no? Let’s see,” Gil dramatically held up a hand and began ticking names off his fingers, “Lexi shot you down, spunky little vixen that she is. But then there’s that journalist that lures you into so many intimate 'interviews.' The barmaid on Kadara who’s stopped charging you but refuses to let any of the rest of us drink free. Not to mention the way you kept one eye on Anan over there the entire night we played poker. If you weren’t utterly silly over our bouncy blue rem-tech expert you’d be charming your way across that bar and into a back room right now.”

Pyjak treats laced with laxative.

“I’m attracted to people who are passionate about their work.” Ryder cringed inwardly at the lameness of the defense.

“Bollocks,” Gil snorted, “You have a type, Ryder. Not like it’s something to be ashamed of. Myself, I’m still hoping that somewhere out here in Andromeda we’ll find an entire race of monomorph men that go through a shirtless firefighter phase in life. Balance things up a bit.”

“And I’m sure,” Jill cut in, interrupting her friend’s sarcastic fantasy, “That when we find them you’ll form bonds on the basis of character, intelligence and passion; like Ryder.”

“And you’ll tear me a new one for once again finding a way to frustrate your militant human mating agenda,” he agreed wholeheartedly with a cocky grin.

“I take it all back, Pathfinder,” Jill gave an exaggerated sigh with a roll of her eyes. “Don’t have kids. You might end up stuck with someone like this for the rest of your life.”

“If I’m lucky,” Ryder softly replied. She gave Gil’s arm a fond squeeze, trying to aim her smile at him and his best friend and future child, but she had trouble focusing on any of them. All she could see was bright green eyes scrunched up at the corners; a playful, predatory gleam that promised to take her breath away. (Literally, most times.) After so many months of not having any fucking clue what tomorrow might bring it was bizarre to contemplate something so enormous as the entire rest of her life. But Ryder couldn’t picture a single day of it without Peebee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone else think that Jill let Ryder off a bit too easily when they met? Yeah, I decided to give her second chance at that whole minefield. Don't know if there's more to this story than the one chapter so I'm open to ideas and suggestions.


	2. Best Medicine

The doors to the med-bay gave a hermetically sealed hiss as they opened. Lexi looked up from her datapad, prepared to praise any brave patient that came to her for treatment without having to be tranquilized and dragged in. Except there was no one there. Lexi frowned and scanned her equipment, verifying that the Goddess-damned pyjak hadn’t snuck in again. He’d chewed through two inactive power conduits and thrown up the fibers on a treatment bed last time.

 The room was definitely empty. Someone must have walked too close to the sensor. She made a mental note to ask Gil to calibrate the sensitivity of the trigger, then turned her attention back to the never-ending task of compiling her notes on the angara. Jaal had been wonderfully helpful in convincing the Pelaav research team to let her have access to their full databank of medical history. Unfortunately, the computer's translating system couldn’t actually find words for all the shelesh anatomical terms. ‘ _Patient suffering third-degree exposure burn to the upper [whatthefuckwordisthissupposedtobe] and was sedated with 20 cc of [seriouslythisisridiculous].’_ Endless sentences ran on and on like that. Every time she uploaded more files for translation she expected the computer to swear at her.

The doors opened again and she chose to ignore the malfunction, but half a second later they hissed once more. The doctor looked up, a line of irritation wrinkling her brow. The room was still empty. Was this some juvenile prank? And if it was . . . Lexi got up and stalked to the entrance, prepared to unleash her temper on a very deserving victim.

“Peebee, I swear I’m going to—!” She stopped short, shocked to find an equally startled Ryder standing just on the other side of her doors.

“Peebee’s here?” The Pathfinder’s eyes darted over the doctor’s shoulder to scan the medbay, concern immediately swallowing up the surprise on her face.

“No,” Lexi shook her head, clearing thoughts as she quickly switched gears. “I assumed she was toying with my door mechanism.”

“Why?” Ryder’s brow wrinkled in innocent confusion.

“Why does Peebee do anything?” Lexi sighed helplessly. She spotted the tiny, downward twitch in Sara’s lips; noticed that the Pathfinder was shifting her weight back and forth from one leg to the other. Facts clicked into place. “Sara, why have you been pacing outside my door?”

“I didn’t want to bother you,” the words had barely left her mouth before Ryder’s wry expression acknowledged their absurdity. “The door was probably kind of annoying, wasn’t it?”

“How about you actually come in?” Lexi stepped back into the medbay, pretending not to hear the deep breath of relief that escaped Ryder as she followed.

Dr. T’Perro had very foolishly assumed early on that the human Pathfinder was going to stubbornly fight her every step of their mission. It turned out that Ryder’s occasional pouting and childish arguments over health checks were _nothing_ compared to the hell of getting Drack into the medbay. Never mind that the only reason she’d managed to get any medical scans of Peebee at all was because she came back unconscious from one of the missions on Elaaden. Next to those two Ryder could very nearly be considered cooperative. Plus, there was this; Sara came to her when she needed to talk.

Lexi cleared datapads off the secondary chair by her desk and the Pathfinder gratefully sank into it. She patiently sat and watched as Ryder's gaze roved nervously around the medbay for several long seconds. The doctor could almost see the words of a question forming behind her eyes.  Usually Ryder had no issue with sharing exactly what was on her mind. The personality trait that Tann and Addison hailed as ‘sincerely impassioned’ and ‘forthcoming’ had also landed the impulsive girl in medbay multiple times for not keeping her mouth shut. Whatever was plaguing her thoughts today, however, seemed to be giving her tongue difficulties.

“Sara, you know you can—,” Lexi started to offer reassurances.

“Can asari get pregnant by accident?” Ryder’s worried question blurted out.

“—Talk to me about anything,” T’perro finished numbly, blindsided by the unexpected topic. She bit her tongue, holding back the instantaneous answer that nearly broke free. Instead she leaned forward, wrestling to keep her tone neutral and void of suspicions, “Why are you asking me?”

“I had drinks with Gil and Jill last week,” Ryder groaned, wiping a hand over her face like she could erase the memory. “He kept making jokes about blue babies popping up and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since. It’s not like it’s something I’ve ever had to worry about before and now, with Peebee . . .”

“No, Sara, why are you asking _me_?” Lexi repeated the question. Honestly, the Pathfinder didn’t really have to ask anyone. Five minutes with a computer console and some basic understanding of biology and she’d have her answer. Even SAM could probably tell her! The fact that Ryder was here, talking to her instead of her asari girlfriend, was the sign that something deeper wasn’t right.

“You’ve met Peebee right? Blue, about so high,” Ryder held her hand in the air. “Lived in a fucking escape pod for months because she can barely stay in one place long enough to hold a conversation?” Someone else might have sounded hurt or even resentful in describing such a trait but the Pathfinder’s voice held nothing but affection. Her smile was genuine, if a trifle anxious as she shared, “I keep having these awful visions of the hell that would break loose if I screwed something up and she ended up – you know.”

“Pregnant,” Lexi supplied. Her jaw was starting to twitch and ache from holding back a deluge of responses.

“The absolute mildest ones all involve her blowing me out an airlock,” Ryder admitted with a rueful chuckle, clearly feeling she’d deserve such a fate.

“Ryder, if,” _Goddess, even thinking it sounds ridiculous!_ Lexi forced herself to stick to a professional tone, “IF such an ‘accident’ as you imagine were to occur, Peebee would be just as responsible as you. Moreso, in fact, since asari initiate and control the joining.”

“I know, but she hasn’t got a lot of experience and I get the sense that she’s not really comfortable with it yet.” Ryder shifted in her seat, clearly discomfited herself. It could be difficult to know when someone was empathizing, and when they were projecting.

“And you? How do you feel about melding?” The doctor watched Sara’s small fidgets curiously.

“It’s beautiful,” the adamant answer burst out of Ryder immediately. So fast and sincere that it raised a flush in her cheeks. The human dropped her eyes, voice lowering to an embarrassed mumble, “I mean, you know what it’s like. Obviously.” Another rush of color climbed her face. At this rate SAM was going to have to chime in about possible circulatory problems. The Pathfinder paused to take a breath before bravely pressing on,

“It can be kind of overwhelming but it’s also amazing; just her and me for a moment and absolutely nothing else. That she’s willing to share that with me, that I’m the _only_ one she shares it with . . .” Ryder’s tone faded into something like awe, her eyes soft and distant.

“Back up,” Lexi wasn’t about to let her drift away in the warm fuzzies just yet. She’d said something worrisome. “How long does Peebee hold the meld?”

“Oh, uhm, it’s kind of hard to tell.” Ryder’s brow furrowed in thought. “I always feel like I’m just about to get my bearings and then she’s gone. A few seconds maybe?”

“Please tell me you two aren’t only melding during sex.” Lexi pinched the bridge of her nose, a groan of frustrated disappointment already rising under her words. She knew what the answer was going to be.

“That’s not normal?” Ryder’s confusion was so painful it needed to be a disease. That was when the asari finally lost her last shred of control.

“For fuck’s sake!” The unexpected curse hit Sara like a burst from a plasma gun and she gaped in shock at the doctor. Lexi couldn’t be bothered to care. “No, it’s not normal! By the Goddess, how you two idiot children have managed this long—!” She took the Pathfinder’s shoulders squarely in each hand, making sure she had her absolute, undivided attention. “All these worries, Sara, about getting pregnant, about Peebee being uncomfortable? You’d already have your answers if the two of you didn’t have the combined self-control of an eezo-amped pyjak in mating season.”

“Did you really say fuck?” Ryder asked in wonder, laughing at Lexi’s exasperated scowl. “I get it, doc, meld with our clothes still on. I honestly didn’t know that was an option.”

“Given the nature of your relationship? I’d say it’s actually a necessity.” The doctor released her grip, pleased to have gotten through that stubbornly thick human skull for once.

“Now you’re just being dramatic.” Ryder rolled her eyes, rising from the chair with a languid stretch.

“Ryder, you know as well as I do that Peebee barely has the attention span to finish her sentences on a good day,” Lexi gave a frustrated sigh. “Add that to her lack of experience with an act as consuming as melding with another being’s nervous system. Then factor in the intensity of her attraction—and therefore _reaction_ —to you. Frankly? It’s a scientific marvel she can concentrate long enough to breathe, let alone maintain the joining.”

“So what you’re saying,” a smug grin crept slowly across the Pathfinder’s face, “Is that I’m too much for her?”

“I am saying, you over-sexed Fornax fiend, that despite what extranet pornography would have everyone believe: melding is about more than pleasure.” Lexi rose and began shooing Ryder towards the door. She’d helped as far as any doctor or friend could and hardly needed to waste time stroking the woman’s excitable ego. “It’s about communication, just like any good relationship needs. No more coming to me with girlfriend problems. Injuries only.”

“What about girlfriend related injuries?” Sara balked and stalled in the doorway, eyes bright with laughter as she forced the doctor to physically push her to leave.

“Those are your own damn fault.” The asari physician had no sympathy. A carefully modulated pulse from her biotics shoved Ryder out of the medbay. The doors were just hissing closed when the human’s hand shot out to keep them open an extra second.

“Thank you, Lexi.” There was no faking the emotion that warmed those words. Sara could be genuine when she wanted, and it always felt like a privilege to see her drop the defenses of humor and sarcasm long enough to show her real thoughts. Then she pulled back and the door slid shut before the doctor could say anything else.

Lexi returned to her workstation, feeling more satisfied with a consultation than she had in quite some time. Those two would be the death of her if they didn’t get themselves killed first. She had just turned her attention back to the angaran physiology reports when her computer chimed with a new message. With a curious twitch in one brow she cued it open. Just a few words, and she couldn’t stop the resultant burst of laughter.

_Seriously?_

_From: Ryder_

_To: Lexi_

_‘Fornax fiend’?!  
_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of just having fun seeing where this goes. Getting a feel for the new cast. Lexi is one of my favorites so I hope I did her justice.  
> Also, Lexi's comments regarding melding/sex are based on the few canon facts we have about melding (mostly ME1 Liara/Shepard conversations) and my own spin.


	3. Doctor's Orders

Peebee’s work room was empty. No, that wasn’t quite right. Peebee’s work room was _never_ empty. The sheer amount of tools, stripped parts and hunks of remnant detritus created a hoarder’s nightmare of chaos. Honestly, if they ever did need to use the escape pod for an emergency, half the crew would die just trying to get across this space. What _wasn’t_ in Peebee’s room, however, was Peebee.

The Pathfinder stepped in, momentarily searching for some hint that the asari would be returning shortly; or possibly that she’d had to take cover from one of her own experiments. This new fascination of hers with rem-tech lasers . . . But no, there were no scorch marks or hunks of molten metal anywhere to be seen. The work space was quiet except for the steady hum coming from the reprogrammed remnant observer hovering innocently in one corner.

“Hey, Poc,” Ryder greeted, smiling at the series of chirps and trills that answered. It always felt like she was dealing with the remnant version of an excited puppy. Inevitably, she found herself treating it the same, her voice dropping into an affectionate coo, “You all alone in here, girl? Where’s your mama?”

The floating tech made a sad, digital honk, helpless to provide actual information. The way the whole machine shook and fluttered had Ryder smiling; it reminded her of how Peebee acted when she was trying to work out a particularly challenging problem.

“Ok, be good. Play nice with Zap.” It really was a good thing no one else ever heard her like this. They already teased Gil for fussing over the Nomad like a lover. The crew would be absolutely merciless about her and Peebee’s rem-tech kids.

Kids. Ryder shuddered once more. Why did everything keep reminding her of that conversation again? She left the work space and darted a paranoid glance towards the airlock. Maybe she’d put some priority clearance codes on that system.

The Pathfinder dropped down the ladder to the lower deck. Peebee would eventually surface from whatever bizarre project/prank/spacewalk she was currently engrossed in. Trying to track her down on the Tempest, no matter that it wasn’t a large ship, tended to be futile. Jeez, the ship’s lead designer had found a place to hide 70 kilos of mech suit without anyone noticing until their obsessive science officer started doing math. After that Ryder refused to be surprised by anything.

She entered her quarters already thinking about the relief of a hot shower, only to find Peebee must have had the same thought. Except, without water. And with clothing still on. What the hell? Ryder observed quietly from the doorway to the washroom, realizing that whatever had the asari so fascinated in the shower had stopped her from hearing any doors opening. Her back was to the entrance so Ryder took a moment to scan appreciatively up the figure-hugging material of her pants, eyes pausing over the holster slung low on her hips, a perfect accentuation to the shapely curves below.

The hum of an omnitool pricked the Pathfinder’s ears and she managed to quietly angle just far enough to one side to see Peebee holding her bottle of soap.   The asari was muttering under her breath in the small, frustrated tones that Sara had become familiar with; annoyed at whatever response she was getting off her scans. 

“Works best with water.” Ryder abruptly volunteered, smirking as her girlfriend predictably jumped about a foot and dropped the bottle. It clattered into the others, knocking them all over the shower floor before Peebee could catch any of them.

“Shit, Ryder!” The woman spun, startled eyes quickly narrowing in irritation, “Will you stop sneaking up on me like that?!”

“I don’t know,” Ryder folded her arms, cocking her hip to one side. “Will you stop tackling me all the time?”

Even when she knew what was going to happen, knew exactly the challenge she was issuing and the response she’d get, she was always stunned by just how fucking fast Peebee moved. There was a split second, a predatory flash and not enough time to even twitch before the Pathfinder was flat on the ground once more, trapped beneath a smug asari. She had to be using biotics, the cheater.

Peebee smiled down at her captive, shifting her weight just enough to be sure she’d subdued Ryder completely from shoulder to toe. Then she leaned close, catching the hitch in Sara’s breath when their lips brushed for a moment.

 “Nope.” Peebee’s smirk positively reveled in her victory.

“Thought so,” Ryder chuckled, lifting enough to erase that cocky expression in another kiss.

She was perfectly happy with this answer, more than willing to spend the rest of her life pinned against floors, ruins, sand or even that one snow bank on Voeld; so long as it always meant Peebee in her arms. A pleased note hummed in her throat as soft warmth traced her lower lip, teasing for more. There was an intoxication to it, knowing her lover wanted this too; that she could hold on as tight and as long as she wanted. She didn’t have to keep worrying that every kiss was about to be the last. Peebee wasn’t going to bolt away. Unless she got distracted by something shiny, of course.

“So, what were you doing in there?” Ryder finally asked when they took a pause to breathe.

“Thinking about shower sex,” the asari purred. Her mischievous, darkening eyes almost succeeded in evading the truth.

“Liar,” Ryder snorted. She had long since learned to see past her lover’s seductive defenses. Not that she didn’t still enjoy Peebee’s attempts.

“Oh? Then let me prove it.” The fiendish woman’s mouth moved down,  plush lips lavishing attention along the line of Ryder’s throat, earning the stifled exhale of a sigh.

Sara shivered, the barest scrape of teeth deliberately brushing her skin as Peebee peeled away her scarf. What had once only been a comfy accessory quickly became the Pathfinder’s trademark; a necessity, in fact, given the many lingering marks that Peebee so loved leaving in her wake. There were mornings Ryder looked in the mirror and was convinced that the alien was trying to turn her blue one inch at a time.

“Peebee,” Sara’s breath caught on a moan. The asari’s skilled mouth had found her pulse point, humming in delight at the rapidly quickening heartbeat beneath her tongue. Her body was beginning to react faster than she could rein it in. “Peebee, wait,” she tried to object again, cursing the tremor in her voice, “I was talking to Lexi—.”

Mention of the other asari’s name actually did make Peebee pause. One hand slid down the Pathfinder’s side, curling around her hip with a grip that bordered on possessive.  Dark green eyes fixed on Ryder and a smirk shaped her mocking reply,

“I don’t care if doctor hot-ass regrets missing her chance with you. She’s not getting in your pants. At least,” Peebee shifted, one leg slipping very deliberately between Ryder’s, “Not without me there too.”

“Oh, fuck.” Ryder was momentarily paralyzed. Either from the image that her wicked girlfriend had just created or the deep roll of Peebee’s hips, thigh connecting against the exact spot that made her ache. Probably both. A flash of fang parted cerulean lips and Peebee repeated the movement, setting a languid rhythm that promised to drive Ryder very rapidly to the edge of her control.

The Pathfinder grabbed hold of her girlfriend’s hips, stilling the motion much to her own disappointment. Peebee’s mouth opened in protest but all that came out was a startled yelp as Ryder flipped them over, instantly reversing positions.

“Someone’s feeling feisty.” Peebee gave a few small twists and pushes, testing the limits of Ryder’s grip. They both knew the asari could free herself with a single biotic blast, but she was intrigued enough to play along. She tried to catch Ryder’s lips, a noise of complaint rumbling low in her throat when the goal pulled away. Propped up on her elbows Sara was just out of reach. Close enough for promise, but too far for need.

“Lexi says we need to keep our clothes on for once,” Ryder repeated the doctor’s orders with determination. Neither of them were good at taking their medicine but this time they had to.

“Shit! Seriously?! She’s not getting any so she wants me color blind too?” Peebee’s eyes narrowed and a dangerous wave of biotic energy pulsed under the Pathfinder’s hands.

Ryder couldn’t actually reply because she hadn’t a clue what the bizarre accusation even meant. Color? What the—Oh. She would’ve smacked herself in the head if she wasn’t busy holding Peebee in place. Azure, right. She had to give the asari credit for creativity on that one. It sounded a hell of a lot better than cockblock.

“That’s not it, Peebee,” Ryder felt a small chuckle escape with her words. Then a knot in her stomach turned serious. If she hesitated she’d lose her courage so with a quick breath she plunged on, “She says we need to meld without sex and,” she paused to chew her lip, hoping she wasn’t about to push too far, “I want that. I want to have the time to actually feel you, to reach for everything I can sense at the edge of my fingertips when you’re in my mind.”

“Ryder,” Peebee’s voice grew small, doubt hollowing out her usual bravado. “I don’t know. There’s so much in there and it’s not all good, believe me. I don’t want you to see something that hurts.”

The Pathfinder couldn't deny feeling a faint thread of relief, certain now that Peebee’s hesitance had nothing to do with her commitment issues. That comfort was rapidly erased by the ache that stabbed through her chest, heart dropping into a dull throb of sadness at the worry she saw in her lover’s eyes.

“I know you have trouble trusting yourself, Peebee.” Ryder eased her weight off the asari, rolling them to one side so they could face each other without breaking apart. She hated the seriousness pulling Peebee’s lips out of their usual curl. Her finger stood out so sharply against blue skin as she traced the other woman’s mouth, coaxing away the frown. “But I trust you. I know nothing in you ever wants to hurt me and I love you. I want to love all of you. I understand if you’re not ready—.”

“No, I want it too,” Peebee quickly interrupted, the lines of anxiety in her expression slowly settling into resolve. She stroked Ryder’s face, brushing away the errant strands of hair that had fallen across her eye. The cool fingers lingered on her cheek, guiding their lips almost to the point of touching. “I’ll try, Sara.”

“That’s enough,” Ryder replied with a grateful kiss. She felt Peebee’s mouth begin to smile and she drew back. The asari had that familiar smart-ass glimmer in her eyes once more.

“But I’m not saying that damned phrase.” A mocking smirk shaped her words.

“What? Embrace—?” Ryder didn’t have a chance to finish because the brightness of Peebee’s eyes suddenly turned inside out, completely black. The Pathfinder felt herself dragged helplessly in and she was engulfed in the swirling, intoxicating presence of another mind.

_—Me._ Peebee’s low hum of delight rose all around them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the meld is set up! Now, please be patient as the next chapter might take a little more time to hammer out.
> 
> Also, since so many people have been helpfully sharing their comments (I'm not being sarcastic, I really do appreciate it) I wanted to explain what I HOPE is coming across from my head canon:  
> Peebee has melded before, but wasn't necessarily the one to initiate/control the joining.  
> Melding takes effort - as we learned from Shepard/Liara in ME1  
> Peebee has a short attention span. We all got that, right?
> 
> At some point I might just do a separate piece to explore all the reasons behind Peebee's meld issues but I don't want to do that in this story. So, hopefully the necessary bits come through and will be enough to carry us all across the unknown in her psyche.


	4. I've Got You

_Like floating in space. Ryder wondered at the silence of the meld, the beauty and brilliance of it. The swirling, encompassing colors were the heart of a nebula, spawning infinite stars in all directions. She looked into Peebee’s eyes, marveling at the stillness in her gaze. That tranquility was only ever present here, in these moments. A ripple of emotion flowed between them: hesitance, awe, appreciation, acceptance. All the shared feelings turned into a Mobius loop, impossible to tie to either a beginning or end._

_“Is this what you wanted?” Ryder heard Peebee’s question but she also felt it. The query rose from outside and inside herself all at once, her own voice shaping words she hadn’t even thought of speaking._

_“Yes.” Sara listened to the harmonics of that single word, the way it echoed with two sounds. A thrill of pride interlaced with the warmth of pleasure. Ryder held Peebee close, amplifying the simple intimacy of the corporeal plane. She could keep her eyes fixed on her love and at the same time see the constellations of her mind. Without conscious thought, she found herself reaching towards one of the closest._

**_Prothean, definitely. Loud sounds of excitement as her gloves cleared lush moss off the distinctive carving; howling silence as she dug sand off her prize._ **

_The same damn field. Colors shifted and blew around them, sighing irony turning into laughter. They’d been doing the exact same research but still didn’t manage to meet until they were in another galaxy. Thank god for the remnant. A different pinpoint of thought began to twinkle brightly._

**_Shock, disoriented, what the hell?— Well look at that, this soldier’s a she. Cute too._ ** _Ryder felt the memory unravel between them, two sides of one second. **Whoa, those have to be the greenest eyes I’ve ever—worse reasons to have a gun to my head—don’t move, maybe she won’t—could definitely get used to this position—**_

_Peebee laughed at Ryder’s sudden urge to punch Liam all over again._

_The shared moments were easiest to reach, to feel from both perspectives like slotting pieces of a puzzle together. Sara followed the memories, each flowing into another as seamlessly as the tide and carrying her along._

**_A wink, a leap, a laugh and she could feel herself drawn in. Walk away before you have to run. Too dangerous, too easy. Too late. Falling and floating at the same time, like a gravity well. Back hitting the ceiling in zero-g, pinned again. Head over heels everything is upside down. One foot out the door ready to cut the cord, just another string. Heartstrings, plucked, humming; tugging her across the room and tangled for good. Tied down and freer than ever. Home._ **

_A swell of relief mixed with elation buoyed Ryder to new heights. It was intoxicating—addictive even—seeing an entire consciousness unfolding before her, walls turning transparent and mysteries unraveled with a brush of thought. It was Peebee, unguarded and open and she wanted nothing more than to drink everything in. Unconsciously, Ryder pushed further; past the beautiful stars that glittered so brightly and into the unknown._

_“Ryder, wait—.” A thread of panic barely brushed the Pathfinder before she felt shadows washing over her, rushing up and squeezing her heart like a vise._

**_Brilliant, deadly ripples of color filled her whole view, tendrils of crackling energy like lightning woven into a snare. How does anyone survive flying through this? Blinding explosions, the staccato burst of weapon fire, what the hell were they shouting?! What was he saying? Her father’s lips were moving, she could hear the muffled sound but it was too distant. Didn’t even say goodbye. A blue silhouette as proud and still as a statue, twice as cold. Loud cursing as she stormed away, didn’t once look back at the monster she’d loved. Alone for the first time._ **

**_“Sara, don’t,” Peebee’s voice was near and far away at once, trying to pull her back from the dark spots sucking color out of the world. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel the race of her heartbeat anymore. Death has no heart. What hurt so much? Don’t you dare be gone. Don’t leave me._ **

“Whoa!” Peebee severed the meld, holding onto Ryder tightly as the Pathfinder jerked and shuddered through the sudden disorientation of being back in herself.

 They were both breathing shallow, adrenaline making them tremble as if the pain and panic was all still there. Probably because it was. Ryder took a deep gulp, trying to slow the racing beat of her heart. She’d been so meticulously avoiding those dark places in her thoughts that she’d almost convinced herself they didn’t exist anymore. Never mind the demons in Peebee’s past. No wonder the asari had been reluctant.

“Sorry.” Ryder licked her lips, grateful for the sting of dryness that told her she was really here, now. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.

Peebee read the flickering doubts behind Ryder’s eyes. There was an aftereffect to melding, an affinity that left them more attuned to each other’s thoughts. “It’s okay,” the asari was quick to reassure her girlfriend, fingers absently stroking away worry lines and frowns. “How about we just start a bit slower? Something easy?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” A brief nod was all the permission Ryder had to give. Peebee’s gaze turned into a void once more and Sara had the sensation of opening her eyes, except she knew they hadn’t been closed.

_This time she held very still and focused only on the beautiful face right before her, basking in the quiet until she felt herself filling up with calm. Peebee’s lips turned upward into a smile, sharing the tingle of anticipation that felt like prelude to a game._

_“So, something easy?” The asari’s playful invitation beckoned, teasing Ryder away from the nervousness that still flashed through her thoughts._

_Easy. Right. Something simple. Recent, preferably._

_“What were you doing in my shower?” The Pathfinder revisited the image of Peebee standing in her bathroom minutes before._

_“No fair.” There was a bloom of color, a sensation of tickling heat and emotion. Warmth raised goosebumps where Peebee buried her face against Ryder’s neck, hiding the blush in her cheeks as her embarrassment confessed itself. Sara followed the emotion, tracing it to the answer._

**_Peebee standing in the shower, omnitool humming, irritated at the stupid marks that pass for human writing_** _. It was like trying to look at a mirror within a mirror, memories inside a memory._ **_Blue fingers gliding through tousled hair. Rare mornings where she woke up first, the soft touch of tresses brushing her cheek. Urgent kisses interrupted by the foreign feel getting in the way of their lips. Messy strands deliciously tangled in her hands, tickling between her thighs as they clench tight._**

_“My shampoo?” Ryder managed to piece together the disjointed sensations and impulses into a single thought._

_“I was trying to figure out which bottle makes your hair smell so nice,” Peebee admitted, clearly annoyed with her own sentimentality. Her irritation rapidly vanished under a flood of affection as Ryder absorbed the inadvertent praise._

_The Pathfinder would swear she could feel her ego swelling, as well as Peebee’s amusement at discovering the profound effect of such a simple compliment. Then there was a shiver of anticipation, barely a warning before her girlfriend was spinning them around, the dynamic shifting on all sides. She had a distant awareness of pressure against her back. Peebee had rolled them over, undoubtedly resuming her favorite position._

_“My turn.” A dart of playful delight, Peebee’s lips curling into an impish smile. “What did you and Lexi talk about?”_

_Ryder balked, needles of worry prickling down her spine. That didn’t seem like a good idea right now. The awkward hesitation coalesced with confusion from Peebee, swelling rapidly towards fear. She was only making it worse. The Pathfinder concentrated on staying calm, keeping close to the surface where everything was light. She teased free the pieces of conversation that she knew would make Peebee smile._

**_Eezo-amped pyjaks. Fornax fiend. Just too much for you. Lexi swore? Seriously?!_ ** _Ryder felt the thoughts slipping past her, faster than she could keep control. The memories cascaded on top of each other like Gil shuffling his poker deck **. Gil laughing. Nappy changes. Little blue babies. Jill wants more Ryders. Not happening. No accidents. Right?** Doubt and panic spiraled beyond Ryder’s ability to rein them in. The memories stuttered, froze and then exploded, sucked into the abyss of space. **A silent vacuum dragging her out the airlock, dark-faced Peebee watching through the glass. One blue hand flat against the trigger, one on the faint swell of her belly—**_

“Ever-fucking shit!” Peebee screamed, yanking away from the meld like she’d been shot. “What the hell was that?!”

“Sorry!” Ryder raced to apologize, her words rushing out in a stumble as she fought to breathe, “I’m sorry, Peebee, I know you wouldn’t but I can’t get it out of my head!” Her mind was still spinning, pieces of thought trying to find where they fit together after being fused and ripped apart so suddenly. Her vision was getting spotty and her throat was tight but she had to keep trying to explain,

“I’m so scared of what would happen; to you, with us, to her.” Ryder was so lost in her own internal turmoil that she didn’t see the shock and anger in Peebee’s face dissolve into understanding. Blood hammered so loud and fast in her ears that it was making her dizzy. Was this a side effect of the melding? “Jill’s wrong, this galaxy is still too dangerous for kids. It’s not ready, I’m not—.”

“Breathe, Sara!” Peebee took Ryder’s face in both hands, forcing the woman to stop talking before she passed out. “Easy, babe, it’s okay. Just breathe.”

Only after she’d taken several deep gulps of air, letting each out in shaking gusts, did Ryder realize she’d been about to hyperventilate. She managed to nod her thanks, grateful that the flush of panic in her cheeks could now hide her embarrassment. Peebee studied her for several long seconds, a tiny wrinkle in her brow appearing and disappearing as she worked out the problem in her thoughts.

The asari apparently reached a conclusion when she rose from off Ryder, tugging on her hands to pull her girlfriend upright. The Pathfinder’s stiff muscles gave a slight protest, proof that they’d been on the floor far too long. She let herself be led over to the bed and took a seat, releasing a tiny sigh of relief when Peebee sat down right next to her. The intimacy of the meld left a lingering need to be close, to keep touching as if they were only whole together. Peebee sitting beside her, arm around her waist like a lifeline, meant she wasn’t angry. Ryder hadn’t screwed everything up. Not too badly.

“Lexi is a pain in the ass.” Peebee finally broke the heavy silence, smiling at the stutter of laughter that Ryder let free. Any lingering awkwardness was chewed away by the frustration in Peebee’s tone, “She could’ve just told you instead of making us go through all this. There are no accidents, Ryder. Not those kind. Ever.”

There were other kinds of accidents, sure. Maybe a meld goes a bit deeper than someone wanted for a one night stand, and then you spend several centuries uncomfortably aware that out there in the galaxy is a person who knows about your statue spanking fetish. But creating life by accident? That was apparently the burden and privilege only of less evolved species.

“You’re sure?” Ryder’s eyes were full of the desperate desire to believe her, but there was still a line of anxiety between her brows. It wasn’t easy to let go of fears, particularly not when they connected to more deeply-seated issues. Peebee knew that better than most.

“Look, Ryder, I suffered through one of the most horrific, embarrassing and agonizingly detailed conversations of my _life_ when my mom explained the whole thing to me. I haven’t been able to forget a single word!” Peebee gave a melodramatic shudder, still revolted by the memory. Her elcor father would’ve been less painful. _Uncomfortably helpful: it is a natural thing for asari of a certain age to desire deeper mating._ Scratch that. Just . . . ew. Peebee shook herself free of the idea. Focusing on Ryder once more she couldn’t resist the tenderness of a smile,

“Asari make a choice. They choose their mate. They take the time to peel away the extraneous, seek past the flaws to find the very best of them; the treasures worth keeping, worth perpetuating out into the universe. It’s slow and . . .” Peebee squirmed. Was she actually getting turned on by all this? “Deliberate. It can’t be done against someone’s will; it takes both partners being open and willing. That’s why there have never been any mistakes. You can’t accidentally slip into that kind of bond. The intimacy of it is unparalleled.” Why did Ryder have to look so hot vulnerable? Snap out of it, girl. “Or so my mother said.”

“I think I’ll take her word for it.” A final burst of air blew past Ryder’s lips, relief uncoiling the line of her shoulders and the creases around her eyes.

“You’ll have to,” Peebee agreed. _For now._  And just where the hell did that traitorous little thought come from?

“Sorry I freaked out.” Sara’s fingers meshed so beautifully with her own, contrasting colors weaving perfectly together.

“You’re bad with feelings. Not like I can judge.” Peebee shrugged, still staring at their interlaced hands as if she could see the whole of their lives tied together in that simple touch.

“Guess it’s lucky I fell in love with an asari then. Next time you’re being weird I’ll just ask for a meld instead of getting the silent treatment for a week.” Ryder nudged the alien’s shoulder playfully, wry humor bleeding back into her smile.

“I wouldn’t do that!” Peebee immediately objected before beginning to laugh, “When have I ever been able to keep quiet longer than five minutes?”

“Good point,” Ryder hummed, thumb tracing invisible designs over a blue wrist.

“It’s actually kind of sweet, you know. The fact that you’ve been panicking about all this. You want the future to be good. I want that too.” The asari felt emotion trying to slow the words in her throat. After facing kett and Scourge and remnant, the mighty Pathfinder fell into a panic attack over a daughter that didn’t even exist? That was just so . . . so Ryder. Peebee gave a subtle shake of her head, wondering if she’d ever get used to having so much frustration and adoration tied up in one person.

“You know, you only saw the scary stuff. There were some really nice thoughts, some,” Ryder paused, searching for the right explanation, “Dreams? Hopes, I guess. It’s easy to see us happy, Peebee.”

This time the words really did get stuck. For the first time she could ever remember, Peebee found herself speechless. She leaned forward, closing the distance between their lips and letting a languid kiss ease the knot in her chest. They barely broke apart, foreheads rested against each other so she could whisper, “Show me?”

She felt Ryder nod and let out a breath she didn’t realize had been caught in her lungs. One hand rested against Sara’s cheek, thumb brushing a feather-light caress. The tender touch was an invitation and Ryder’s eyes fluttered open once more.

“I’ve got you.” Peebee whispered the phrase. Their phrase. The private promise of trust and acceptance that no one else would ever hear.

**_Plummeting hand in hand down a gravity well. Learning the angaran constellations under Havarl’s sultry midnight skies._ ** _Peebee was overwhelmed with how quickly Ryder found and unfolded her dreams in the meld, sharing them with a shy eagerness. **Figuring out how to get Lexi laid. Bickering about rem-tech. Movie nights with bad acting and good friends. Watching Cora and Scott get married. Dancing together in the glow of kett ships exploding. A small place on Meridian because home will always be in the stars.** Ryder’s visions of the future grew clearer, her confidence rising as Peebee’s wonder and excitement solidified into desire. This—all of this— it was more than the asari had ever dared let herself imagine. But it all felt so right, so perfect. A final burst of determination pulled loose the most hesitant and deepest buried of Ryder’s fantasies._

**_Breezes billowing through soft grass, she and Ryder holding hands as they stroll the verdant meadow. Unmistakably older. Everything in the carriage, the demeanor, the_ ** **calm _of Sara had matured._** _Peebee felt her heart give a small stutter as she saw the future versions of themselves. **The black makeup across her own eyes had vanished, willing to face the world without needing shields and intrigue. Laughter from nearby and suddenly two balls of blue energy dashing past.** Peebee held terrifyingly still, as if even breathing might make the vision shatter. **The giggling girls circle back, racing around their parents before bolting away to chase the iridescent wings of a hapless insect trying to flee.  Shiny! So like their mother. Peebee smacked her bondmate in the shoulder, pulled her in for a kiss.**_

_The certainty of that embrace, the ease and security in it, resonated through them both. It reverberated like the echo of a heavy gong that made everything else fade away until all that was left was Ryder and her. Peebee’s fingers threaded in tousled hair, holding Sara close as they lingered in the kiss._

_“You know,” the asari spoke low, teasing but worried all the same. “You’ll probably be dead before I reach matron age.”_

_“Yeah.” Ryder’s shoulder gave a carefree shrug, eyes sparkling with the bright assurance of one who’s outplayed the universe a dozen times already. “But I was dead before we met, so I like my odds.”_

_“So do I,” Peebee grinned, unable to find even the slightest trace of doubt. This was Ryder, after all. She did the impossible._

_“Ryder?” The asari leaned back, enough to properly see her girlfriend’s face._

_“Mmmm?” Sara’s gaze met hers, languorous and content._

_“ **Now** can we take our clothes off?” There was no keeping the impatience from her tone and Ryder immediately gave into a burst of laughter. The meld faded gradually this time, untangling their senses and feelings until each woman was back in her own body—_

—And Ryder was already pinned to the bed once more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it!  
> Thanks so much for sticking around to read, and your patience as I figured out how to get a handle on the characters and melding etc. I always love hearing feedback and hope everyone enjoyed it.


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